Being in a trauma bond is a cyclic pattern with an imbalance of power. Recognizing such a bond is the first step to help break it.

How To Break A Trauma Bond Fast. Breaking a trauma bond is a complex process that requires a considerable amount of time.

It requires a combination of counseling and some self-help coping strategies, and this is what we will tell you in this article.

Also, you will learn about some clear signs and 7 stages of trauma bonding.

What Is A Trauma Bond?

Trauma bonding is the strong emotional attachment that develops between the abuser and the victim. 

Due to patterns of abusive behavior, the abusee feels a sense of loyalty and positivity towards their abuser and feels unable to leave.

Though it can be hard to break a trauma bond, there are several ways to move on from such a relationship.

Here are some clear signs of living with an abuser:

1. Name-calling, hurling insults, or otherwise mocking you
2. Aiming to put a doubt on your sanity 
3. Making both subtle and overt threats
4. Invading  your privacy
5. Punishing you for refusing to agree with their wishes
6. Trying to have control over your life
7. Cutting you off from family and friends

How To Break a Trauma Bond Fast

1. Practice Self-Care

Doing self-care includes all the practices that benefit your mind and body. 

These activities include doing yoga, working out, getting enough sleep, keeping your body hydrated, and indulging in things you love and enjoy.

When you work on yourself, you become the best version of yourself. It boosts your immune system and gives you the energy to cope with stress.

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2. Validate Your Feelings

When you are in an abusive relationship for a long time, you develop emotional dysregulation and lose sight of which feelings are real.

Recognizing such feelings is extremely important to get a clearer picture of what we are going through.

Sit in a quiet place and sense what you feel. Name your emotion, be it sadness, fatigue, body tension, and uneasiness. Notice your feelings to recognize them fully.

3. Get Therapy

There is always an option to seek medical help and get therapy for whatever you feel. 

Getting an unbiased opinion gives you positive energy and skills to deal with the challenges that you can’t handle otherwise.

4. Take Time To Heel

It is natural for humans to grieve and feel sad over a loss. But rather than suppressing the grief phase, take time to heal.

Allowing yourself enough time helps you process emotions and gives you a better perspective and strength to deal with all the negativity holding you back.

5. Don’t Contact

One of the quickest ways to break a trauma bond is to cut off any ties with the abuser. It ends the cycle that created that bond in the first place.

At first, you will find it extremely difficult to go no-contact with the abuser since you are used to them, and hormonal imbalance takes place, making you feel down.

But after a few months, you will feel safe and calm without any chaotic feelings. 

If you can’t go without contact due to kids or other issues, keep as minimal contact as possible.

6. Don’t Blame Yourself

Believing that all the trauma caused by an abuser happened because of your mistakes is wrong. 

Abuse is not acceptable despite what you may have or have not done. Also, you will have to break the shackles no matter how lonely you feel or how many times you have returned.

It would be better to replace self-blame and criticism with positive self-talk.

7. Take a Break

You will naturally feel lonely after getting out of a toxic relationship, but it is not healthy to jump into another one.

Relationships require effort; you can give your best when you are mentally stable. Living with an abuser and then leaving them is an emotionally draining process.

You are more likely to attract another abuse if you are still healing. Get into a relationship when you feel healed and confident.

Till then, you can do stuff you enjoy, go on a vacation, hang out with friends, volunteer– whatever works best for you.

How To Know If You Are In a Trauma Bond?

Let’s look at some characteristics of traumatic bonds

• There is a cycle of abuse where there is not an entirely bad situation; rather, they occasionally treat you well.
• They will love-bomb you until you slowly regain trust and help you suppress the memories of past abuse. And then the cycle continues.
• There is a power imbalance to the point where you feel they control you, and you don’t know how to break free.
• You feel unhappy with your partner and still can’t leave the relationship.
• When you try to leave them, you get physical and mental symptoms and become distressed over time.
• When you tell them you will leave, they make false promises to change but make no real effort.
• You remind yourself of the “good” moments you had with them to prove they actually care.
• You keep their abusive behavior a secret.
• You defend and justify their behavior while others show concern.
• You still trust them and believe they will change one day.

7 Stages OF Trauma Bond

Traumatic relationships don’t seemingly always start as toxic. It begins on a positive spectrum, but with time, the negativity will move towards different stages and repeat itself.

To break the cycle of trauma bonding, one has to understand each stage and decide which stage they are on. 

However, a person experiencing a trauma bond will find it hard to recognize these stages, but if you ask any outside, the signs are pretty obvious.

Here are the seven stages of trauma bond:

1.  Love Bombing
2. Trust and Dependency 
3. Criticism 
4. Gaslighting 
5. Resigning to Control 
6. Loss of Self 
7. Addiction 

Bottom Line

Living in a traumatic relationship is not hopeless. You have a chance to get out of it!

So if you are wondering how to break a trauma bond fast, remember the very first step is to recognize it.

While healing takes time, with smaller steps each day, you will come out of it safe and healthy.

Don’t hesitate to get medical help if you think you can’t survive alone.