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signs of bad communication in a relationship

10 Signs of Bad Communication In a Relationship

While an effective conversation can get you and your partner on the same page, the opposite is also true.

Poor communication can take a serious toll and will eventually distance partners from one another. With bad communication, one or both partners may give up trying, and the relationship is therefore doomed.

But how will you know if your communication is effective enough?

Read 10 signs of bad communication in a relationship in this article and learn how it affects couples. 

Keep scrolling for extra tips to improve your relationship if you are stuck in a vicious cycle of bad communication. 

signs of bad communication in a relationship

1. Relying Entirely On Texting To Communicate

Texting is great, and using it with your partner is fine, but relying solely on texts without calling or communicating is a big No-No.

Try to communicate via calls when you are away and have a little conversation about here and there. It will make you both feel listened to and connected.

2. Getting Defensive During an Argument

Being defensive during a heated argument is very common, but does it mean it is healthy for your relationship?

It only initiates a cycle of shouting back, using hurtful words and going silent– nothing good comes out of it.

So better not to be defensive and try to listen to the other side without any distractions.

3. Interruption in a Conversation

When you are in a relationship, you must state your feelings clearly. Nothing is more annoying than interruption while trying to express your needs.

If you want to give your relationship a chance, the best approach you can practice is to hear and to be heard.

Being heard gives the other person a comfort zone to share more and thus creates a stronger bond between the partners .

4. Passive Aggressive Attitude

Having a lot of passive-aggressive communication is another sign of bad communication. 

It indirectly expresses negative feelings with jokes, silent treatment, accusations and ranting over petty issues.

If your partner has made a mistake, there are better approaches than taunting them. Let them know in a clear and relaxed manner that their behavior has caused you to hurt.

Being clear in your conversation lets you avoid miscommunication and misunderstanding that might happen later on.

5. Invalidating feelings

Making someone feel that their feelings are invalid or unworthy is the worst you can do to your partner. 

Not only will they feel lonely and underconfident, but they may also develop mental health conditions in the long run. 

Respecting each other’s feelings is one of the most essential steps in building a strong bond. 

6. Repeating the Same Argument Over Again

Repeating the same argument with no constructive solution is a poor sign of communication.

These repeated arguments only trigger negativity and do no good. Find the common element tied to these conversions and get rid of it as soon as possible– the only solution to break the cycle.

7. Making Assumptions That Your Partner Already Knows Your Feelings

Know that your partner is unaware of your feelings. Therefore, assuming that they know it already only creates resentment.

Assuming we know what our partners want and need can cause us to fall short of being a good friend to them.

8. Overreacting Over Particular Issue

There are particular topics that trigger the other person. For example, if you want to discuss finances, your partner overreacts over it, and therefore, you avoid this topic.

It is better to communicate more comfortably than not to discuss at all and ask why it triggers them so much. Again, communication is the key!

9. Telling Lies

A relationship without trust is nothing more than two people just living with each other, and that trust is broken when one is in the habit of lying.

Even if it’s a minor white lie, it can signal that they aren’t always honest with you. This may cause you to wonder what else they might lie about in the future.

This is where bad communication starts to happen, and relations suffer terribly.

10. Stonewalling During a Conversation

Building a wall between you and your partner during a conversation when you feel emotionally drained will do more harm than good.

Consider a neutral signal that you and your partner can use in a conversation to inform each other when one of you is overcome with emotion. 

This can be a single word, a phrase, a physical movement, or just raising both hands to a stop posture.

Effects of Lack of Communication in a Relationship

signs of bad communication in a relationship

All relationships differ from poor communication or no communication at all. Lack of communication has adverse effects not only on relationships but also on individuals.

Poor communication can have the following effects on a relationship:

  • Resentment for one another
  • Focussing on the relationship’s shortcomings
  • No growth in the relationship
  • Developing a toxic relationship
  • Disconnection from one another 
  • Lack of security and safety
  • Missed opportunities to communicate problems and difficulties 
  • Relationship anxiety
  • Hopelessness in the relationship

The effects poor communication has on individuals include:

  • Low self-esteem
  • Depression
  • Anxiety
  • Increase in loneliness
  • Increase in stress levels

How To Fix Communication in a Relationship?

signs of bad communication in a relationship

Like any other skill, good communication in a relationship is a skill which will improve with practice.

Both partners need to work on keeping their communication channels open and effective.

Firstly, start with self-awareness and think whether the bad reaction of your partner was due to your communication style.

Most people like to communicate without thinking about it. If one has a habit of over-talking, he should try to get rid of his habit.

If one is a stonewaller, the other should express their feelings.

Your communication style may differ from your partner’s– it does not have to be right or wrong. All you have to do is find a middle ground to compromise.

Here are a few tips for making your partner a better communicator in a relationship: 

  • Make time to discuss conversation.
  • Explain why you’re having communication problems and how it’s making you feel.
  • Make some constructive suggestions for what would make you feel better.
  • Active listening should be practiced.
  • Begin by making “I feel” statements.
  • Avoid making accusations.

If you feel uncomfortable talking face-to-face, try moving the conversation outside, away from possibly unpleasant situations, or changing your body language, such as sitting opposite each other to increase eye contact. 

Another great way to communicate is to walk and talk while you hold hands. You will feel connected and better understand each other’s feelings.

To address and resolve any communication challenges, we highly recommend seeking assistance from a experienced couples therapist.

Wrap Up

All these signs of bad communication in a relationship trigger a cycle and lead to arguments and unresolvable conflicts.

If you find yourself stuck in such a situation after putting in all the effort, you should go for couple counseling.

Lastly, communication is a skill that needs to be honed every day, and there is always room for improvement. Keep practicing it with patience.

Picture of Racheli Miller
Racheli Miller

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