You talk to your friends at a party and tell everyone about the day you’ve had. You can’t help but think “I must have said something stupid, they’re talking about me.” 

I’ve felt that way more times than I’d like to admit and it always puts me down. So I’ve thought it through, let’s figure out a way to overcome this together! Let’s talk about:

• How to Overcome Social Anxiety? 
• What Causes Social Anxiety in the First Place?

How to Overcome Social Anxiety? 

Let’s face it, social anxiety is quite annoying. The worst part is that it makes us feel like we don’t have control over it, and there is nothing to do but run away. 

But scientists and experts in social anxiety have scientifically proven ways to help us fight this feeling and regain the confidence we deserve! They include:

1. Identify Your Triggers 

We all have some situations, feelings, or encounters that have the power to make us feel anxious. Experts refer to these components as triggers. 

Now here is the complicated bit, triggers are unique. So what makes someone anxious might not make you anxious. This is why it is important to identify your triggers. 

Write it Down – Keep a Journal 

Journalling is a really popular way of keeping track of your triggers. Here are some questions to help you get started:

• Can you describe the event in detail?
• How did you feel as the event was happening?
• What’s the thing that bothers you the most? 
• How did you handle it?

2. Understand Cognitive Errors 

Cognitive errors are a scientific way of talking about the errors that are present in a person’s way of thinking. 

Experts have been intensely researching this topic and how it is connected to feelings of social anxiety. What they found is a kind of thinking error that pops up a lot with social anxiety. The error is known as interpretation bias. 

What is Interpretation Bias? Interpretation bias is the tendency to perceive vague and ambiguous social situations and overreact to even minor unfavorable events. Socially anxious people see social events or circumstances as threatening (e.g., perceived criticism or rejection by others).  To keep themselves safe from perceived negative social consequences, socially anxious people avoid social situations, preventing them from enjoying pleasant social experiences.  Negative understandings of the situation continue to affect how you think of the situation after the event. This usually leaves little room to challenge your thought process and the errors in it.

Being able to identify and understand the errors in your thinking helps you become more aware of them. This way, you can catch yourself thinking in a certain way when you experience an anxious-filled event next time. 

3. Awareness and Modification is Key!

Once you’re aware of your thoughts, feelings, and errors in the thought processes, you slowly become able to understand how you think this way. 

The next step is to think about how you can modify your emotional and behavioral reactions to different events. Here are some of the questions to help you get started:

• How did you previously handle an event that caused you anxiety?
• How can you handle it differently?

You can write these down and try to work on them the next time an event causes you anxiety. 

4. Practice and Control your Breathing 

Another efficient way of helping you calm down in stressful situations is deep breathing. Deep breathing helps you concentrate on slow, deep breathing. This helps help you deal with (or distract you from) difficult thoughts and sensations. 

5. Let’s Set Up a Challenge. 

One of the most effective ways to reduce social anxiety is to confront the social situations you fear rather than avoid them. Avoiding a situation only helps fuel social anxiety. 

It’s difficult to see how it can affect you immediately and that is understandable. 

Avoiding nerve-wracking circumstances may make you feel better in the short term, but it hinders you from growing more comfortable in social situations and learning how to manage in the long run. 

The more you avoid a dreaded social event, the worse it becomes. So it’s time to face our fears! One way to help fight anxiety is to challenge yourself. 

Encourage yourself to go out to social events with the tools you have practiced and see how it works out for you. The trick is to begin with an event that you can manage and slowly work your way up to more tough situations.

Remember, you don’t have to go all in at the very first event. It might get overwhelming and that’s okay. Never forget to give yourself the space to make mistakes and learn from the process!

What Causes Social Anxiety in the First Place?

Social anxiety is complex as many things can cause it. 

For instance, social anxiety can be inherited. Anxiety problems typically run in families. However, it is unclear how much of this is attributable to heredity vs learned behavior. More studies are being conducted to understand this relationship. 

Social anxiety therapy can address learned behaviors. Some individuals may develop severe anxiety after experiencing an uncomfortable or embarrassing social event.

Also, there can be a link between social anxiety disorder and parents who exhibit nervous behavior in social settings or who overprotect or manage their kids excessively.

Conclusion

In summary, understanding and treating the causes and underlying thinking patterns of social anxiety is key to overcoming it. Individuals might become more conscious of their anxiety by identifying personal triggers in their journals and detecting cognitive flaws such as interpretation bias. 

Deep breathing exercises and progressively approaching fearful social situations can help increase confidence and lessen anxiety over time. 

It’s crucial to note that social anxiety can result from both hereditary and acquired habits and progress may take time. 

Everyone’s journey is unique, but with determination and the correct tools, you can overcome social anxiety, resulting in more rewarding social interactions and a higher quality of life.