Depression not only affects the person experiencing it but also the loved ones around them, especially their partner. As their partner, changes in attitude, behavior, and the gradual withdrawal from your partner’s usual routine can be difficult to experience.
So how can you help and what can you do to help yourself? Continue reading to explore:
- How to Help a Depressed Partner.
- 5 Tips to Live with a Depressed Partner
- And much more!
How to Help a Depressed Partner.
1. Understand the Signs of Depression
Depression comes in all shapes and sizes and it is fairly common for a lot of people to deny their depression. Read up about depression online and understand the signs that can indicate depression over the last two weeks:
- A predominantly low-mood
- Feeling sad, irritable, and/or helpless
- Loss of interest in activities they used to enjoy before
- Changes in eating habits – Eating too much or too little
- Changes in sleeping habits – Sleeping too much or too little
- Increase in purposeless physical activity (e.g., inability to sit still, pacing, handwringing)
- Feeling worthless or very guilty.
- Difficulty thinking or concentrating, forgetfulness, and/or difficulty making minor decisions.
- Thoughts of death, suicidal ideation, or suicide attempts.
2. Be Aware of Suicidal Thoughts, Intentions and Attempts
We need to talk about this topic separately as suicide is linked to people experiencing depression. A lot of people say that it often goes unnoticed.
The problem is that the signs are subtle and this thought can be overwhelming for a lot of people. We can help ourselves and keep our partners safe by recognizing signs of suicidal thoughts and intentions:
- Talking about death and suicide
- Planning to attempt suicide, such as purchasing a gun or stockpiling pills
- Extreme mood swings—very high one day and deeply discouraged the next
- Social withdrawal
- Noticeable changes in normal daily routines
- Feeling overwhelmed with hopelessness
- Engaging in risky or self-destructive behavior, including drug or alcohol abuse or reckless driving
- Giving away belongings
- Saying goodbye
- Getting affairs in order
- Developing personality changes
3. Help Out with Daily Tasks
One of the signs of depression is increased fatigue and/or decreased energy. Your partner might find it difficult to do the simplest tasks daily such as getting out of bed and cleaning up.
You can lend them a hand by helping them with their household chores for a little while. It will show that you’re there for them.
4. Hear Them Out
You might feel the urge to help them by providing them with a solution to their problems. It comes from a good place but to someone else, it might come off as not considering their feelings.
We need to remind ourselves that sometimes, it is more helpful to simply listen. They might know what to do but might be feeling overwhelmed. Regardless, listening to what troubles them makes them feel heard and tells them that you’re a safe place for them to turn to.
5. Encourage Them to Seek Professional Help
As a partner, you can gently remind them that there is hope and a way to help with their struggles. Seeking professional help can be helpful because professionals have the necessary tools and treatments that you and your partner may not be trained to provide.
5 Tips to Live with a Depressed Partner
1. Don’t Take the Depression Personally
Symptoms of depression can often make the living partner feel like they might be at fault. Their withdrawal, irritability and sadness can be misunderstood.
It is important to remember that depression is complex and has a lot of factors affecting it. So, remind yourself that this is not an indication of whether your partner cares about you or not. In most cases, the symptoms have nothing to do with you.
2. Do Not Try to “Fix Everything”
A lot of people tend to want to solve every problem. As tempting as it is, wanting to fix everything won’t always help your partner. As I mentioned before, it could come off as dismissive even though you’re just trying to help out.
Sometimes, the best thing you can do is hear your partner out.
3. Seek Help for Yourself
Caring for someone with depression can be taxing and overwhelming. If you fail to look after yourself, you might experience caregiver burnout – a state of physical and emotional exhaustion that happens due to taking care of someone else with an illness.
You can always reduce this risk by helping yourself and reaching out to a mental health professional for help. A simple counseling or therapy session to talk about how you feel might help you feel better and ready to help your partner.
4. Stay Connected with Loved Ones
One of the major signs of depression is social withdrawal. During this period, it can be easy to forget the benefits of reaching out to your social circle.
Staying connected with your friends, family, and other loved ones can help remind you of the bonds and memories you share with so many other people. Social connectedness can help you feel like you are cared for and your input is valued.
5. Practice Self-Care
While helping your partner fight through their battle, it is important to look after yourself. Taking some time to help yourself might seem selfish but it is not. Rather, it is necessary! How are you supposed to take care of someone else if you don’t take care of yourself?
Eat well-rounded meals, get some sleep, and exercise. Your partner might be motivated to join you as well!
Conclusion
Having a partner experience depression can be challenging. You can help them by simply being there to listen, help out with daily tasks, and gain more knowledge about depression.
Understanding depression will also help you realize that it is not meant to be taken personally. You can also help yourself by looking after yourself mentally and physically, and seeking professional help when needed.
