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Effects Of Lack Of Communication In A Relationship And How To Fix It

Effects Of Lack Of Communication In a Relationship And How To Fix It

Partners who lack communication skills cannot cope with everyday challenges such as finances, work, kids, and intimacy.

Though sometimes it becomes very hard to express emotions, it plays a crucial part in developing any relationship.

In this article, we will highlight the Effects Of a Lack Of Communication In A Relationship, its signs, and effective ways to deal with it.

Keep reading!

Effects Of Lack Of Communication In A Relationship

What does lack of communication mean in a relationship?

Whether verbal, physical, or spiritual– a connection between two partners holds the relationship together. And communication is what makes the connection stronger.

Couples have a lack of communication if they find it challenging to express their needs, expectations, and feelings,

Ineffective communication may make a person more anxious, underconfident, and lonely. It also leads to disagreements and misunderstandings quite often.

Below we have described some ways a lack of communication can affect a relationship. 

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1. More and More Conflicts

With the lack of effective communication, misunderstandings occur, leading to increasing conflicts and arguments. 

With time there are harsher comments, shouting, and emotional draining of both partners and there comes a point when both become deaf to each other’s opinions.

At the end of the day, your relationship suffers greatly due to this.

2. Loneliness

What’s worse than feeling lonely? And that too while being in a relationship– nothing!

You have no shoulder to cry on, no one to tell how your day went, all that while you live with your partner, and the same happens with them.

3. Unable to Reach Goals

When you feel unloved, you naturally lose motivation to set and reach goals, and that’s where your relationship suffers as you stop growing. You fail to set both individual and relationship goals.

4. Lower intimacy

Intimacy is the backbone of a relationship, and one lacks its desire when there is no effective communication because couples don’t feel connected to each other.

Physical relation requires deeper connection and emotional closeness, and communication here plays a crucial role.

5. Giving Silent Treatment

The silent treatment can be in the form of ignoring, using a mobile while the other person is talking or walking away without saying anything. All these are unhealthy for a relationship.

If there is an argument and you need a break, take a time-out but don’t leave it unresolved, as it will only build up without creating any solution.

6. Being Defensive

When there is a lack of communication, one or both partners stop taking responsibility for their actions and instead try to be defensive.

According to couples therapist Dr. John Gottman, one of the Four Horsemen, or behavioral predictors of divorce or relationship failure, is defensive. 

The other three are:

  • Criticism
  • Contempt
  • Stonewalling. 

Defensiveness occurs when one feels hurt or criticized by the other. 

The next person then adopts defensiveness to protect oneself and plays the victim in response to what is perceived as an attack.

7. Separation

If there is a constant cycle of arguments, misunderstanding, and yelling, it builds up resentment and emotional detachment.

Ultimately both parties decide to separate, and that’s the last stage of the relationship– there is hardly any going back from there.

Try not to reach such a stage where you find it impossible to settle things and make a mutual understanding.

What Are the Reason For the Lack Of Communication In a Relationship

Effects Of Lack Of Communication In A Relationship And How To Fix It
  • Lack of trust

Trust and being open is the building block of a relationship. One of the reasons why effective communication is absent between the partners is they dont trust each other and feel uncomfortable being open.

  • Busy lifestyle

Another factor contributing to the need for more communication is the busy schedules of both partners, strict deadlines, full-time jobs, and stressors at work.

They feel so overwhelmed at their workplace that all they want at home is to unwind and relax without communicating anything. 

It adversely affects the relationship in the long term as it creates a wide communication gap between the two.

Other factors may include:

  • Conflict Avoidance
  • Feeling Unheard
  • Fear of Judgement

Ways To Build Effective Communication

Effects Of Lack Of Communication In A Relationship And How To Fix It

After we have described the signs and eventual effects of lack of communication, let’s talk about how you can fix it with some tried-and-tested ways.

  • Active Listening

Listening to your partners with tolerance and an open mind creates a comfort zone.

Ask open-ended questions and briefly repeat their ideas to show your partner that you understand their perspective. This will make them feel heard.

  • Get Professional Help 

Sometimes it is easier said than done, and all you need is a third person to carry the burden with you.

That person is a mental health expert who will listen to you, guide you and teach you skills about coping with conflicts in a healthy way.
“Get our expert professionals to enhance and enrich your relationship.”

  • Make Room For Several Truths

Successful partnerships must make room for each other’s perspectives to foster healthy conversation. 

Due to your individual life experiences, you may have conflicting but equally right interpretations of the same event.

  • Be Interested In Your Partner’s Passions

Try to appreciate what your partner is passionate about rather than correcting or discouraging them. This will develop a closer bond of friendship and trust between the two.

  • Be Patient

Reacting over the smallest things is not a way to go in a relationship. Rather than being defensive, try to be constructive and listen calmly to what they are saying before responding.

  • Use “I” Statements

Using “I” statements makes your partner feel less attacked, and the overall situation becomes about your feelings.

Rephrase your words like “I don’t feel heard when I talk to you,” instead of, “You don’t listen to me.”

  • Apologize When Needed

There always comes ego problems when you try to apologize. Regardless of your intention, apologize immediately if your actions or words have hurt your partner in some way.

Don’t bring justification in between or be defensive about it– it might diminish the sincerity and impact of the apology.

Try to take full accountability for your words or actions, and it will show a willingness to acknowledge your partner’s emotional status and will help you move forward.

  • Compliment Freely

When you get compliments from your partners, it develops a sense of appreciation and worth. Slowly and gradually, it will develop a positive dynamic between the partners. 

Complimenting also serves as a driving force that motivates your partner to keep engaging in actions that keep you happy.

  • Show Gratitude

Gratitude is the right attitude; simply using words like “please” or “thank you” will surely boost positive energy and your partner will feel more appreciated and encouraged.

In fact, expressing gratitude regularly for the partner’s actions is an effective way to foster affection. Don’t hesitate to do it!

Bottom Line

Poor and ineffective communication is a deal-breaker in a relationship.

The effects of lack of communication in a relationship may lead anywhere between anxiety and separation.

The more you walk away from meaningful conversation, the closer you are to a broken relationship until it dies.

Get professional help if nothing works for you and you find yourself in the vicious cycle of an unhealthy relationship.

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